You Butt!
by Flightless Wings
Summary: It always sucks to have someone read your diary. Especially if you're like Bonnie and you write about a certain vampire queen and her tongue. Established Bubbline, Rated T. May change to M later.


**Summary: Marceline snoops around the lab while PB's away at a royal meeting. Established Bubbline, Rated T. May change to M later.**

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pen Ward.**

She's hovering in her bathroom, butt naked. She coats her thumb with the thick black paste and brushes two identical black lines under her eyes. She has no time to fix her hair, so she slides a hair tie on her wrist and pulls it back into a sloppy ponytail. A black beanie pulled over her head, a grey tank top slipped onto her body, denim short shorts, no underwear, and she's out of there. Some would say that she's dressed to kill, but she has other things in mind.

The sun's already set, and everyone in ooo is settling down for the night. Those few stragglers out and about would only see a slim figure sliding across the sky in the direction of the candy kingdom, and a swollen moon hanging beside her.

She's lucky that vampires are immune to the cold. It's a chilly night and her flight is buffered by angry, snow-laced winds. Anybody else would fall victim to the terrible weather, but she flies on, unaffected. She sees her destination in the distance and wastes no time cutting across the sky at her fastest speeds.

Now there's only a window in her way. It's bordered by orange candy canes and she can't help but curl her lip up in disgust. Orange? What ever happened to the original red ones? Now that she thought about it, her stomach growled in response. There was no way in the Nightosphere that she was going to drink that orange crap. She'd tasted Jake before and spent the rest of the day trying to get the sock taste out of her mouth. Shaking her head, she morphed into a bat and flew through the window.

Last minute test tubes and vials were strewn across the desk. Marceline smirked at the display of sloppiness that was so unlike the princess. Knowing her, she was probably called away to the meeting at the last second. Marceline transformed back into her normal self and set to work.

She started with the drawers. Everybody hides important things in drawers, right? She flew around the room, carelessly opening every one in sight and rummaging through the contents, searching for the item of her affections. She had to admit, Bonnie had some really weird things in here. Of course most of them were science magazines and weird documents, but Marceline stumbled across some very interesting objects as well. There was an odd vibrating object, some weird liquid substance, and chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Marceline rolled her eyes and shut the drawers in frustration. _Where was it?_

"If I were Bonnie, where would I hide it?" Marceline wondered aloud, mindlessly floating about the room. She knew she didn't have much time before the princess came back. Then it hit her.

_Of course! Under the bed. I hide my love poems and crap under my bed, so why wouldn't it be there? _Marceline dropped to her knees and leaned down to take a peek under the bed. She was met by a bunch of boxes, each labeled with long and complex words that Marceline didn't understand, and didn't dare try to mess with. "Okay," she said, getting up and taking one last scan of the room. There was only one place left that she hadn't checked.

She made her way over to the closet. Carefully, she turned the knob and opened the door. _This has to be it._

Right when she opened the door, her senses were flooded by the putrid scent of chocolate. She pinched her nose in disgust. Vampires and chocolate did _not_ mix. Carefully, she picked her way through the candy and found what she was looking for.

It was placed neatly on the back shelf, waiting for her to read its contents. Bonnie's diary. Perfect. Marceline grinned evilly to herself and reached to take the book.

The last night Marceline had visited, she'd walked in on Bonnie writing in the ridiculous thing. Being the curious lady that she is, she'd requested to know what the princess was writing about. Bonnie had simply put it away in a drawer and said it was nothing. Of course Marceline wasn't going to just forget about it. Upon further questioning, she'd gotten PB to admit that it was her diary. Marceline had just laughed at her and Bonnie, furious, had kicked her out into the cold with no goodnight kiss.

It was just as upsetting as being made to sleep on the couch. Too curious to give up, Marceline had planned the break in to get her hands on the object that was so precious to Bonnibel. Now that she finally had her hands on it, it was the moment of truth.

Just as she was about to flip open the first page, she heard the bedroom door open. Eyes wide, she quickly shut the closet door and tried to remain completely still. She heard Bonnie rustling around in her room, whistling to herself. It was pitch black in the closet. Luckily, Marceline had pretty great vision. She flipped open to the first page and began to read.

_Today we reached Tier 2. Marceline's lips were very moist, which came as quite the surprise to me. She doesn't have, say, the best personal hygiene._Marceline humphed and kept reading with interest. _It was quite nice, however. Judging by my calculations, we should reach Tier 15 in about 14.6 days. I find this to be very exciting! If I add some flirting variables, and maybe take the lead, that number could quite possibly be cut in half! _

_Every day I find something even more amazing about Marceline. Her hair is so long! And not sticky! Maybe I will ask if I can run an experiment on it sometime. She is quite beautiful. _Marceline blushed. _I have these urges to touch her all over! It's hard to control when she does that thing with her tongue-_

The closet door opens and light comes pouring in.

"Marceline!" Bonnie exclaims, eyes filled with genuine surprise. Then they travel down. Farther. Farther until she sees what Marceline's holding.

Marceline braced herself.

"You snuck into my bedroom and read my diary!?" she yelled in disbelief. "While I was at an important meeting? Marceline! I _told _you to stay away from that!" She crossed her arms and looked down at Marceline with such a stricken expression that the vampire was forced to look away.

"S-Sorry Bonnie."

"Is that all you have to say? You butt!" Bonnie clawed at the air in anger.

Marceline didn't hear the rest of the rant. She picked herself up from the floor and floated out of the closet and into the bedroom, head down like a kicked puppy. Bonnie snatched the diary from her hands.

"How much did you read?" she demanded.

"Just the first page, I swear!"

Bonnie smacked her forehead with the heel of her palm. "You flipping butt! Ugh!" She was clutching the book to her chest protectively and killing Marceline with her eyes.

"I'm sorry!" Marceline insisted, throwing her head back in a groan. "I had to!"

"I can't even look at you right now!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"That's not going to cut it!"

"I don't know how to respond to that!"

"Respond with your globbing lips!" Bonnie said, grabbing Marceline out of the air and crushing their lips together. Marceline gasped, all the air sucked out of her. A bright red blush was painted on her cheeks, and she kissed back weakly. Bonnie's eyes were closed shut, arms wrapped around Marceline's waist. They stayed that way for what seemed like forever until Bonnie pulled away. Marceline relaxed a little bit.

"So… Tier 15, huh?" she smirked, winking at the princess.

"You butt!"

She smacked Marceline on top of the head with the diary, unable to resist smiling at the curious Vampire Queen.

**AN: Anyone catch the Yamino, tumblr, or closet joke? Haha, thanks for reading! This may or may not be continued!**


End file.
